Almost “almost” (aka “Two down, ten to go…”)

After the issues I had last month, you’d think I would have learned. Here’s what I rode:

Having no Duke holidays in February, I took a day off of work to get February’s ride under my wheels. It again started much later than I had planned (8:15AM vs 7:00AM, again), which again meant that I’d be finishing after sundown. While (again) non-optimal, it was worse this time. “Why?”, you ask? Read on…

Started out pretty well: not too cold (the main reason I had picked this day for my ride: No balaclava necessary this time, but definitely needed my ear-warmers), and rolling on familiar roads for the first 10 miles or so. For the next 10 miles after that, my only problems were that I couldn’t get TwitPic to work from my BlackBerry Curve and that I had missed a turn. The missed turn was easily remedied thanks to a pretty good idea of where I was headed in the first place and (mostly, I must admit) mobile Google Maps. Then, upon reaching NC-86, the fun started.

(Note to self: When the Weather Channel web site bothers to put the work “WINDY” in the graphic for the weather conditions, they don’t exactly mean it would be a nice day to fly a kite.)

NC-86, being fairly wide and well-traveled, has much of it’s surrounding trees cut back about 15 feet or so on either side. This makes for a perfect “channel” for the crazy-strong headwinds that were present that day to race right down and say “Hi!” to me nearly the entire way to Virginia. Now would be a good time to remind (or inform) anyone who might actually be reading this that I ride a mountain bike–not a road bike–which means I’m largely upright, with my torso acting as a sail in those stupid headwinds. It took me six hours to go the 50 miles from home to Danville. It should have taken me four hours on a normal day and five hours on a slow day. It also meant that there were only four hours left until sundown–not nearly enough time for me to make the remaining 60 miles before dark.

It’s also a well-documented fact that headwinds experienced while traveling one direction NEVER result in tailwinds when traveling in the opposite direction. :/

On the way back, I stopped in a Burger King (at 5:40 PM and near the 85 mile mark) for some nice, warm, salty, warm, deliciously warm french fries (did I mention that they were warm?). I called my wife, seriously considering asking her to simply come pick me up there, even though I was still five miles short of an “official” Larry Schwartz Year-Rounder ride. I “manned-up” though, and simply asked Shannon to call me when she had picked up our oldest daughter from dance class an hour later to check my status.

An hour later, the temperature had dropped a full ten degrees, from the mid-40s to the mid-30s, and it was now pitch black outside. When my wife called, I asked her to stop at a service station (located at the corner of the road I was on and the road we live off of) where we would decide if she was heading home, or coming to get me. It should take her 15-20 minutes to get there from dance, and if she were to pick me up, I’d have to find a decent stopping point (namely, one where I could get a receipt to mark the location/date/time of the end of my ride).

Shortly after hanging up with her, I blew a tire in the middle of nowhere.

Had I mentioned that it was pitch black and 34 degrees outside? I had? Good. Wouldn’t want to leave something like that out.

So, sitting on the side of the road in the cold and the dark with a flat tire, I realized that, while I had enough distance to count the ride (~93 miles), I had no way to prove it without getting a receipt. I also had no way of telling my wife where I was or how to find me (other than telling her “keep driving and look for me on the side of the road”, of course). I had to repair my tire. Right then, right there. Great.

Had I mentioned I’ve never changed a tire while on the road before? No? Good. Wouldn’t want to leave something like that out.

Amazingly, though cold and dark (not the weather… I mean me; my mood was now very cold and very dark), I managed to change my tire in about 15 minutes and get a few miles down the road before my wife called again. I was now completely ready to be picked up… I just needed to find a place to get that blasted receipt. I asked Shannon to simply head north, looking for a cyclist riding south on the other side of the road. I’d call her if I found someplace to stop before she found me. I ended up stopping at Blalock’s Store in Rougemont, NC, about 12 miles short of my initial goal. This was still plenty of distance, but then I wondered, worriedly… “How long did this take me?”

(Here’s where the title begins to make sense. I hope.)

In order to count for the Larry Schwartz award, the ride must be done at an average speed–including stops–of 8.33 miles per hour. Thanks to the headwinds, the hills, the fries (mmm… warm), and the flat, it took me almost 11 hours to go 97 miles. That works out to… (carry the 4)… 8.81 mph. A bit too close for my comfort, but thankfully close enough to count. Whew.

The rest is pretty boring: Shannon and the girls pick me up, I toss my bike in the back of the station wagon, apologize to the girls for their sudden loss of headroom, collapse into the passenger seat, and tell my wife everything I just told you on the way home.